birthday begins

brithday fun tonigt. the shaoes of the celing make my head a happy curious place. i like it.

Cloverfield

Went to the movies tonight. nice way to end the weekend. the movie really didnt live up to what i thought it would. ended in questions and bummed-ness haha kinda like friday night with the smurfs, i knew it wasnt ending well thats the difference. my finger hurts. its now a weird cut blister. birthdays soon. i hope my spice girls tickets cme tomorrow. i hope lyndz is excited. i know she has to work but i hope things get sorted out. and james. fuck i need to talk to him. i totoally freaked out on him about wednesday. if he has to go to a dr appt then i shouldnt stop him. but really how many times is it my birthday!? well. im sure things will work out they always seem to.

runny nose

hmmmm my runny nose is early. haha maybe not maybe my birthday wont be full of sketchy biz. HAHA. really the meaner i am the nicer people are. doesnt make much sense maybe its a way of demanding respect. drank some wine with the kids last nite. always a nice time. i know rob is stressed tho that kills me cuz there is nothing i cando. i hvanet seen my boy in days. myabe ill head into the city tonite. but who now when shits gunna blow up between us. i guess we both have to be nicer to each other. anyways.....gotta get to work soon im enjoying my random blogging tho its nice to get the words outta my head.

morning....

anxiety sucks. i mean really ive counting down the hours to get to whenever im going. how the hell can i enjoy what ive got if im worried about whats coming next.? im glad i have to go to work in teh morning or else im be spending allday waiting. well Cobra starship is tomorrow, i guess thats something i can be excited about. even though anxiety will probably eat at me. why does coffee have such an aftertaste?

Again....

So... im really gunna try and keep this one going haha. isnt that how i start most things i write. i guess i just write in spurts. but really i think it might clear my heads to get some of the shit thats in there out on paper or in the case a key board.